Mixed future for UK riders… and Sceptics slammed as ‘The Science’ says Reindeer & Sleighs can fly in….. Santa Biker Shocker!

As 201o draws to a close the prospects for those who ride or might choose to ride a motorcycle or scooter in Britain are mixed, so it is impossible to say for sure if things will get better or worse in 2011. But there is a growing consensus in the scientific community that should stop so called ‘Santa Sceptics’ or  ‘Reindeer can fly Deniers’ in their tracks.

First, after issuing a politically correct health warning that a picture at the bottom of my blog may be sexist, I’ll share a two view snapshot of the future for riders and could be riders. On the one hand, as money gets tighter for most people next year in Britain there is an ever greater need for our policy makers to enable those with the skill and courage to ride, to do so as safely and freely as possible. On the other hand, a handful of greedy Burghers in Westminster City Council are hellbent on defending their pay-by-phone bike parking tax on the grounds that it is quite reasonable to use new fees for on-street bike parking to try and put people off riding in the centre of London. And, of course, if they can get away with using Traffic Management Act powers to impose a new source of road user revenue, other councils with far less cash than WCC are sure to be tempted to use their cunning and highly profitable scheme…

But there may be more important things for all riders to consider during Yuletide. One of these is a growing consensus in the world’s scientific community that the so called ‘Santa Sceptics’ or  ‘Reindeer can fly Deniers’ have failed to see or accept an ‘Inconvenient Truth’. ‘The Science’ of such things clearly shows that claims by sceptics and deniers about the Global Warmth that Santa spreads throughout the world at this time of year are wrong. ‘The Science’ now clearly shows how claims that Santa and his Reindeer can’t really fly can not only damage comforting beliefs for innocent children and their parents, but these claims are irresponsibly wrong and create terrible confusion about what can happen to us if we’re naughty not good.

Dr. Larry Silverberg, Professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering at North Carolina State University has been leading pioneering research at the North Pole which confirms the inconvenient truth about Santa flight. “Santa is using technologies that we are not yet able to recreate in our own labs,” and he goes on to explain how Santa’s sleigh is “far more advanced” than any modern form of air transportation.

“The truss of the sleigh, including the runners, are made of a honeycombed titanium alloy that is very lightweight and 10 to 20 times stronger than anything we can make today,” Silverberg says. The truss can also morph, thereby altering its shape  to improve its aerodynamics which allows it to “cut through the air more efficiently”. The runners on the sleigh have ‘flexure’ allows them to ‘tuck in’ and be more aerodynamic during flight, and then spread out to provide stability for landing on various surfaces such as steeply pitched roofs.” Says the world leading scientists.

However, in my ceaseless quest for balance in my bloggings I have to point out that this particular Prof and his disciples may be talking and believing bollocks. Oh Dear! And to offer an alternative theory, in the name of balance again, there are some who reckon that Santa is not transported by reindeer at all – but actually gets round the world on a bike.

Some say he rides in a gang of Santas on turbocharged Honda 90s. Some say he works alone on a supercharged scooter. Some even say that he is a she – and she uses a chopper with super-human aplomb.

As ever, I will leave it to you to decide what you choose to believe. I also hope y’all  have a Cool Yule and Great New Year with those who are happy to ride with you…